


Worth

by DisconnectedCraft



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisconnectedCraft/pseuds/DisconnectedCraft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After what had happened during the regional tournament, Rei deals with some conflict of feelings in regards to what has happened. As he starts to doubt himself especially his place amongst his new friends, Rei becomes distant. Makoto tries to see what he can do to help the wayward first year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Distance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brightcea](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=brightcea).



> ****  
> Prompt:  
> 
> 
> _Courtesy of brightcea on Tumblr_  
> 
> 
> REQUEST 1  
> – open to art/comic or fic  
> – no rating restriction  
> – Characters/Pairing: Makoto/Rei  
> – Details: Makoto comforting Rei after he gave his spot to Rin.
> 
> This is a fanfiction gift for Brightcea who wanted Makoto to comfort Rei. I'm very very sorry for the lack of Makoto/Rei in this story since I felt that it would be weird (and out of character) for everyone else not to notice. I hope you still like this gift and enjoy the implication of the relationship that me (and my beta readers) agreed to as a compromise. I also thank my beta readers Alastair from Lunaescence Archives and Tigerine from tumblr (I don't actually know her tumblr, sorry!) for beta reading this as well as helping me with plot and plot holes! You guys are the best!  
> 

Ever since the regionals tournament, something had been off.

Makoto wasn’t sure if he was just looking at things too deeply, but he was confident that there was something amiss within his circle of friends. After all, Makoto considered himself well-versed in how his childhood friends were feeling and how to respond accordingly, often advocating on their behalf as well as advising them.

And while Makoto wasn’t as close to Rei as he was to the others, Makoto felt confident in his assumption that there was something bothering Rei, especially after the regionals. After all, the disqualification was to be expected since they did break a major rule by switching one of their members with another school’s. But nonetheless, everyone saw as well as felt the importance behind the regionals, which was to get everyone — including Rin — to swim together.

And while Makoto felt immense happiness and gratitude towards Rei for doing what he did to allow everyone, especially Haruka, to swim with Rin again and put behind all their issues; now that that had passed, Makoto felt that lingering feeling that was at the back of his mind at the time.

As days passed, Makoto managed pin down what that feeling was. Guilt. They never really got to swim with Rei at the regionals, did they? And after everyone in their small swim club had said a lot of inspirational things, such as how every member was irreplaceable and that they were team, too…

Looking towards the first years’ direction, Makoto saw that Rei had only eaten half of his lunch, and with a rather serious but unfocused expression, he was listening to Nagisa and Kou’s animated conversation.

Nagisa’s usual antics, such as his overactive imagination, and Gou’s logical, if a tad extreme ways to help Rei didn’t bring much out of the usually sharp and quick-witted male, who only gave vague and non-committal responses.

Makoto also noticed that there was a faraway look in his eyes. Not only that, but the feeling he was getting from Rei confused him as well. Like even though Rei was physically there with them like always, it felt as though Rei wasn’t really entirely there.

“Makoto.”

Pulled back to reality, Makoto turned to Haruka, who was also currently eating his lunch quietly. “Uh, yes Haru?”

“I need to talk to you about something later.”

Surprised, Makoto nodded. “Sure Haru.”

After school finished, everyone began their way home. Gou was the first to leave, walking home with her friend Hana, leaving Haruka and Makoto to accompany Rei and Nagisa to the train station.

Surprisingly though, when they got to the train station, Rei politely stated that he’d be going home alone. Nagisa was shocked at first, questioning the bespectacled male as to why; Rei was quiet at first, but then he bowed, politely requesting that he would really like some time to himself to reflect on some things. Bowing once again and excusing himself, Rei began jogging. Nagisa, disappointed and upset that he couldn’t take the trip home with Rei, sadly waited for his lonely trip home.

Seeing the shorter boy, upset that he couldn’t take the train home with his friend, Makoto ruffled Nagisa’s fluffy blond hair. “It’s okay Nagisa. I’m sure he has his reasons. He’ll be back to normal before you know it!”

Nagisa casted a sad smile towards Makoto, “I hope so...I want Rei-chan back!”

“Of course! See you soon Nagisa!” Makoto said waving goodbye to the blond as he boarded his train.

Soon after Nagisa’s train left the station, Makoto and Haruka began to make their way home. It was quiet at first, as both of them had stopped by a local convenience store for some ice blocks and were enjoying the tasty treat. However, both knew what was on each other’s mind.

“Rei’s been acting strangely since the regionals,” Haruka stated, taking a bite out of his ice lolly.

“You think so?” Makoto let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness, I thought I was overreacting and being overprotective of everyone again.”

“No…” Haru replied quietly, looking off to the side. “You weren’t.”

Makoto smiled warmly. “Don’t worry, Haru. I don’t mind taking care of everyone every once in a while,” he replied as he took a bite out of his ice lolly. “But I’m worried nonetheless. I wonder what has gotten into Rei?”

Sucking on the icy sweet treat, Haruka went quiet. Makoto wasn’t reassured by Haruka’s quietness, but he understood nonetheless. If both of them had to be quite honest, they each had various ideas as to what could be making Rei act so differently from usual. To fill the silence, Makoto voiced some of the theories he had on why Rei had been acting strangely since the regionals — from disappointment at the fact that their team couldn’t compete in the nationals to maybe Rei being jealous of Rin; Haruka occasionally made a small noise in agreement or disagreement.

As Haruka let Makoto voice his opinions, they finally made it to Haruka’s house. Makoto, feeling much better since he’d voiced his concerns to Haruka about Rei, had an idea about what to do when they next saw Rei.

“I’ll text everyone later and see if we can visit Rei tomorrow. Maybe we can get to the bottom of things if we talk to him directly about it.”

“Un.”

“Well then, good night Haru!”


	2. Doubt

He shouldn’t feel like this. It was irrational, uncalled for, and most of all, very selfish.

But that heavy feeling in his stomach wouldn’t leave him, keeping him from having the restful sleep that he deserved. Turning on his left side, Rei made himself comfortable to look at the clear night sky through his windows. Sometimes looking at the night sky helped quell his nerves and feelings on restless nights, but tonight, however, it didn’t ease the heaviness at all.

Rei was annoyed at himself for feeling like this. He should be getting his beauty sleep! But what had happened and the feelings he’d felt three weeks ago just wouldn’t leave him alone. It didn’t help that those feelings had festered into what Rei felt were very disgusting thoughts, unbecoming of how his heart felt on the matter.

‘Can’t you see how happy they were when Rin-san swam with them? That glow in Haruka-senpai’s eyes when he said ‘I want to swim with Rin’? And the disappointment when Rin-san almost quit swimming? They don’t want you… You were his replace —’

Rei stopped that train of thought, opting to get up from his bed and to open the window. Feeling the gentle, cool breeze flying in, Rei leaned against the window, admiring the beauty that his vantage point offered. He focused on the moon, the night sounds he could hear, and just let his eyes wander to get his mind off of things. 

But no matter how hard he tried to take his mind off of things, his mind would wander back to that ugly train of thought. The constant niggling self-doubt that reared its head and whispered things into Rei’s mind that were most definitely untrue.

Rei knew that allowing the Samezuka student to take his place had been the right decision. Especially with how hung up his new group of friends felt in regards to the red head, and how it was so painfully obvious that said red head needed them, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Rin needed the closure. Nagisa, Makoto, and Haruka needed it too; they wanted Rin back and the closure he would bring. Otherwise, all they had worked for was in vain.

Rei wasn’t ignorant or naïve, let alone as uninvolved with their personal problems as Nagisa thought he was. He could see that everyone was concerned about Rin in some shape or form. Not only that, but while Rin himself did not express his concern as explicitly as they did, he obviously cared for them.

Nagisa was impressed at how strong of a swimmer Rin had become, but felt confused as to why Rin had changed his style of swimming. Especially since Rin was so good at the butterfly stroke.

Makoto was concerned with how Rin had changed from when they were children to them being teenagers. Rei had also noticed how scary Makoto had been when he’d shown anger towards how Rin treated Haruka.

And Haruka… The one with the most ties to Rin. He was obviously affected by a lot the things Rin said and did in more ways than one. Especially so when they were swimming. To the point where he would change his own beautiful way of swimming as well as lose that beautiful glimmer in his eyes at the thought of not swimming with his old friend again.

Letting out a long sigh, Rei lay back down on his bed. He understood now that everything was over and done with. He felt that he, Haruka, Makoto, and Nagisa were over that hurdle of their friendship. But ever since the regionals, that feeling of being left out was back and with more force than ever.

And unfortunately for Rei, he knew the reason why it was back. And acknowledging that pained him. Because doing so would admit that Rei hadn’t gotten over that childish feeling of jealousy, even though by all means he felt that he should be over it. Especially when Rei had already confronted everyone about the past and had gotten his answers. So why was that feeling of insecurity and jealousy back?

Turning to look at the alarm clock on his desk, Rei saw that it was two in the morning. Annoyed and angry at himself more than he was already, Rei tried to close his eyes and force himself to sleep. But his mind wouldn’t let him rest. It kept dredging up everything he did his best to suppress: his jealousy towards Rin, Nagisa’s attempts to try not get him involved — even though he’d been the one who started it all — his anger towards Haruka for choosing Rin over him when Rei had given up everything he has worked hard for in the past… 

With his head filled with heavy thoughts, his eyes too began to feel heavy. And before Rei knew it, sleep slowly enveloped him entirely.


	3. Disclosure

Groaning tiredly, Rei opened his eyes to bright light as well as an incessant beeping of his alarm clock. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Rei’s free hand fumbled a bit to locate his alarm clock before finally turning the machine off. As he moved, he felt a painful ache on the left side of his neck though.

“Argh, I must have slept awkwardly last night,” Rei mumbled to himself as he tried to massage a crick out of his neck and shoulder, but to no avail; he’d have to get some Salon Pas patches for his neck later. Letting out a big yawn, Rei continued to do some small stretches as he walked towards the bathroom to clean himself up as well as to wake him up entirely.

As soon as he was done with his morning rituals for the day, Rei came out with his hair covered in a fluffy yellow towel, only to hear the doorbell ring. 

“I don’t recall inviting anyone over…” Rei mumbled to himself as he entered the small living room.

More alert now that he’d showered and cleaned himself up, Rei hurried towards the door to see who the guests that had come to visit him were. Much to his dismay, his guests were Haruka-senpai, Nagisa, Makoto-senpai, and Rin-san. It seemed like the the past couple of days had not been going well for him at all and he was feeling up to seeing his friends right now. But nonetheless, remembering his manners, Rei quickly greeted his guests.

Making note of what was on the small coffee table, which was currently void of anything besides a couple of magazines and newspapers he kept around to read. “Good afternoon everyone! I’m sorry to have kept you waiting!” Rei greeted. “Have you guys been waiting long?”

“Sorry to intrude, Rei.” Makoto smiled warmly at Rei, handing the bespectacled male a bag of fruit. “We weren’t sure what you’d like so, we all chipped in to buy a variety of fruit,” Makoto said as he seated himself on one of the cushions near the coffee table.

“Ah...” Rei shifted the bag of fruit in his hands. “Thank you very much!”

Nagisa, who immediately went over to sprawl over one of the bigger cushions that the coffee table had, greeted his strait-laced friend with a smile. “It’s okay! We weren’t waiting long,” Nagisa exclaimed. “We just got here!”

Haruka greeted Rei quietly with a nod of his head and followed in after Makoto and Nagisa. Rin greeted Rei with a short “Yo,” and followed suit.

Closing the door and locking it, Rei brought the fruit to the kitchen counter. “Guys, would you rather have sliced fruit or a fruit salad? Also what drinks would you like? I have tea, juice, and water.”

Everyone chimed in what they wanted, with the exception of Haruka asking for mackerel to which everyone said “No!” 

By majority, everyone wanted fruit salad, and the drinks were split fifty-fifty between tea and water. As Rei prepared the food and beverages for his guests, the four childhood friends began reviewing their plan on talking to Rei about his distance as of late. However, Rin’s rather brash, confrontational methods were a bit much for Makoto’s taste, who wanted to bring up the issues as tactfully as possible; Nagisa wanted to sidle around the issue, and Haruka didn’t bother to get into the argument.

Soon enough, Rei came out with a tray filled with their respective beverages, pitchers, and food, and everyone besides Rin noticed that Rei didn’t present it with his usual flare and flourish. No grand speeches about beauty, harmony, or how his family has been doing this or that for so long. It discouraged Makoto and Nagisa quite a bit, seeing their friend act quite… subdued.

Makoto waited for Rei to sit himself and the tray of food down before speaking. "Rei... We've noticed that you've been kind of distant lately. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Rei eyes widened at Makoto’s remark.“Pardon?”

Rin huffed, a little annoyed at Rei’s slowness. “Are you an idiot?” Rei was about to retort to the rude comment, but Rin cut him off. “Something’s obviously wrong so you should tell us.”

Makoto, startled by Rin’s blunt harshness, tried to defuse the situation before a fight between the two butterfly swimmers broke by placing a hand on Rin’s shoulder. 

“What Rin was trying to say,” Makoto started, giving his shoulder a tight squeeze, which startled Rin, who had forgotten that the gentle Makoto could be forceful when he needed to be, “was that you can come to us if something is troubling you.”

Nagisa, who had helped himself to the bowl of fruit salad and currently had a spoonful of sweet tangy fruit in his mouth, saw his chance to add his own two cents into the matter. “Yeah Rei-chan! You’re our friend! It’s okay to come talk to us,” 

Motioning his spoon in a scolding manner, Nagisa did his best angry look before settling back into a pout. “Plus it’s lonely when you don’t talk to me in class...”

Rei didn’t know what to say at first, since he felt quite bad for ignoring his friend like that. So Rei settled for the first thing that came to mind. “I’m sorry for my inconsiderate behaviour, Nagisa-kun,” Rei said, bowing a little with his head, since he was sitting. “I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, at a later date.”

Nagisa, who was extremely happy at the apology, became rather disheartened at the second part of Rei’s apology. “Huh? Forgive you at a later date? How come!?” Nagisa asked, confused.

Rei took a sideways glance away from everyone else’s faces. “I...” Pushing his glasses up, Rei said simply, “...I can’t really say. My apologies, everyone.”

Rin slammed a fist on the table. “That’s a poor excuse of a lie and you know it, Rei!” Rin exclaimed angrily at the quiet male. “Stop dancing around the issue and come out and tell us already!”

Soon chaos erupted between the four males as Nagisa tried to pry the answer out of Rei, who refused to answer any of the questions, only giving polite apologies and dismissals, and Makoto trying to calm Rin down from lashing out at the dismissive male. Haruka, who had simply been quietly observing this entire time, had taken notice of a few things, such as Rei’s refusing to look at any one of them in the eye let alone their faces, as well as the subtle flinch when Nagisa said “friend.” Haruka had a hunch about what could be the problem.

“Does the problem have to do with the relay?” Haruka asked.

Everyone was surprised at Haruka’s question, especially Rei, who thought that he had been hiding his worries well. Makoto, now concerned as to how and why Rei was angry at them, wanted to know. 

“Rei did we do something to offend you?” Makoto asked, leaning towards Rei, who had gone extremely quiet. “We won’t get mad if the problem lies with us, Rei,” Makoto said gently. “So please tell us what’s wrong.”

Rei sighed. There really was no avoiding it is there? “...You're right, Haruka-senpai. I know that what I did was right and I was happy that you all were able to swim together.” Rei crossed his arms and looking pointedly at everyone, especially Haruka since he had hit the problem on the head. “I'd believed that I'd accepted my decision and all the feelings that accompanied it, but still... I can't help the doubt and uncertainty that's present in the back of my mind." 

Rin was not amused. “Idiot.” 

“Rin...” Makoto said bemused as he attempted to placate blunt redhead.

Rin rolled his eyes but continued, “You're not a replacement. The moment you joined this team you became part of the team.” Rin went over towards the stunned bespectacled male to give Rei a noogie. ”And my being here doesn't change that!” Rin exclaimed, smirking all the while. 

Haruka nodded at Rin’s confidant affirmation, with silent assurance and a small smile.

“Un! So don’t be jealous Rei-chan!” Nagisa exclaimed cheerfully, clinging to his friend, which resulted in Rei sputtering unwittingly. “You’re our irreplaceable friend and team mate!”

“Guys! Please stop!” Rei exclaimed as he was rough housed by the energetic Nagisa and cheeky Rin. “I understand! I understand I won’t doubt you guys ever again. So please get off me!”

Makoto laughed at the three’s antics as Haruka continued to eat his fruit salad, wondering if he could put mackerel in it to make tasty. Hearing his name being called out from Rei as well as a plea for help, Makoto went over to them to break up the fight, trying to coax the other male into helping pull Rin and Nagisa off of Rei, only for Haruka to say,

“It’s too troublesome.”

Makoto sighed, but was bemused. “Haru...”

 

“Huh? Why are you staying back Mako-chan?” Nagisa asked as he put his shoes on.

Makoto gave an all knowing smile that made Nagisa a little intimidated. “I still have a few things to say to Rei, so you guys go on ahead.” Rei however upon hearing blushed and excused himself from living room and into the kitchen to clean up the utensils.

“Hmm… okay Mako-chan...” Nagisa replied a little suspicious however he was getting pulled in by Rin and Haruka.

“Come on Nagisa, we should leave those two alone. Yo, are we up for that swimming practice tomorrow?” Rin asked gruffly.

“I’ll text you and Rei's response when I’m done talking with him.” Makoto said before bidding everyone good bye and with a bow, closing the door in the process.

Rin clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes at the two males behind the door. Haruka who had been patiently been waiting for his friend Nagisa and Rin, heard Rin mutter something along the lines of “brazen orcas” and Haruka let out an amused scoff before following suit.


End file.
